I push myself until I can’t break anymore. My body is a vessel on the journey to perfection. Food isn’t there to be enjoyed; it’s there to be weighed, measured and counted. Every Saturday night I’m surrounded by the drawl of running machines and clanging metal, rather than the laughter of friends and club music. In between gym sessions I’m merely existing, waiting for the next rep to make me feel alive again… The pain, loneliness and obsession is all worth it in the end when I post my rock hard abs and bulging biceps on Instagram and watch as those likes, admiration and jealousy come flooding in.