Desire from afar as the idea of someone is always greater than the reality. After all, dream girls can only exist in dreams and the closer you get the more their light dims. Maintain the fantasy and there will never be enough colours in the spectrum to paint the beauty that your imagination sees.
I move through life with my eyes wide shut. That way, I can see more clearly. People forget that our eyes can’t be trusted as they’re constantly playing tricks on us. So, instead of being guided by the visual, I surrender to the unknown and allow the universe to steer me in the direction that I’ve always been destined to travel.
Night after night my nightmares remain the same… I’m pursued by a dark figure wishing to do me harm. My only chance at escape – flying. Whilst I possess no wings, I know I can do it. I know it because there’s something special inside of me. But as much as I try to soar, my feet remain agonisingly rooted to the ground. And then, only until the figure is looming menacingly over me, do I finally wake up. I wonder… what does it all mean?
While others are seduced by the flickers of TV screens or absorbed into the quicksand of social media feeds, I spend my long afternoons staring into the mirror, just staring. Like Frida Kahlo, I’ve become a connoisseur of my own physical presence. Over time, every blemish or imperfection has been imprinted permanently into my mind and memories… the subtle way my lower lip is a deeper shade of pink than my upper… the way my face minutely slants to one side… how my freckles fall mostly on my right… my slightly thicker left eyebrow. I don’t pay such close attention to myself out of vanity or insecurity, but out of necessity – how else would I find the answers that I seek?
Ever since I was banished from the warmth and bliss of my mother’s womb, I’ve always felt agonizingly lost and alone. Who am I? What does my destiny hold? Will I ever find love? I’ve always been a searcher on the lookout for answers I seemingly can never find. All I can do now is hope, just hope that if I look deep into my own eyes or gaze up at the stars long enough, the universe and my true calling will finally unravel itself to me. Of course, it never does. Instead, I’m paralyzed with the weight of not knowing.
With all the time spent in introspective thought, I’ve come to realise that nothing is more revealing and naked than the face. Our every memory and experience – positive or negative, is forever etched into every pore and wrinkle in our skin. Like a book, if we really gaze into each other’s faces, it’s possible to understand a person’s entire life story without them uttering a word. Someway or another, our deepest secrets are always revealed. After all, you can never hide what the face wants to speak.
Sitting at a golden piano with crystal keys playing music so sweet it attracts bees, because I’m inspired by a beauty you wouldn’t believe. I close my eyes and all I see is a silver locket against mahogany skin and lips so perfect you’d think kissing them was sin.
All I can do is wonder as I listen to the strikes of lightning and thunder, where do I run or where do I hide when the tide of life comes crashing back in? Dark clouds over head; I’m merely a gust of wind away from being lost at sea.
Rip out my heart, let my soul seep out and catapult my essence to the edge of the unknown. Allow me to see the other side and finally ask god what it means to be truly alive. Then bring me back to life a second before I die.